I Have a Confession...

Well, I kind of forgot about this site, but I had this entry from awhile ago that I just finished up. I thought I'd post it in case anyone reads this little blog. Things have changed a little bit since this, but not too much so I thought I'd post my half year old ramblings.:)

It's nothing shocking really. As a matter of fact, you've probably stumbled across this blog because you already know part of my "secret." I write, and occassionally read, fanfiction, the vast majority of which is Harry Potter stories about lesbian relationships that I've dreamed up. The secret part is that no one in my life knows about it. Well, my roommate got it out of me once when I was a little liquored up, but no one really knows the extent of it. For a little while, I was borderline obsessed with writing fanfics. I still really enjoy it, but I have a life outside of fanfics. I think a part of the appeal for me is the secret of it. It's as though I'm sneaking around doing something forbidden, and as mild mannered as I am, even I can see the appeal in that. It brought excitement to an otherwise excruciatingly boring life. There where times when I was sitting watching TV with my family while reading or writing somewhat steamy lesbian stories. It's wierd, but that was like an escape, and still is really.


It was also amusing to wonder what my mom would think if she found that I was imagining two women making out while watching repeats of Law & Order. It would be the very last thing that she expected from me. I'm still firmly of the opinion that she will forever consider me straight, even when I come out. I feel she'll ignore it completely and continue trying to set me up with my guy friends. I suppose that's better than other reactions, though it's still not ideal. Maybe she won't be that bad come to think of it, but I still feel it's one of those things that we'll never ever talk about unless absolutely necessary. More on that next post... :)