Let Me Explain...

Before I make any entries here, I ought to explain myself. In case you entirely missed the title, I am a lesbian. I've known this about myself for, ohh, I don't know, about six years, since around the time I was in 8th grade. I can actually take you back to the exact hallway in my middle school where I realized that I was looking at another girl's body in a way that I couldn't for the boys. Anyways, I knew for six years and only came out to my closest friends in November. Part of it was that I was a little ashamed and scared of how I felt, what with my good old Catholic guilt kicking in and a definite lack of education regarding sexuality. The other part was that I never really had a friend I was close enough to that I could trust with such a potentially explosive secret. I am not necessarily trying to hide my sexuality from any of my peers any more; I've come more to terms with it over the course of the past few months (and therapy sessions). I almost want people to know, because I feel as though I can be more myself when people know that about me. It also might help me to find a girl, because out lesbians are severely lacking on my college campus, as is a GSA (that's a story for another day though), and you can't exactly go around asking people which way they swing.

The only people I don't want to know about me are my family, or more specifically my parents, that's where the sort of out part comes in. My sister know because we attend the same college, but she has promised not to tell my mom or dad. I'm honestly scared shitless of telling them about me. It's not as if they're super-conservative or anything. As a matter of fact, thier political status is independent, so they're really more moderate. It's just that they've said things about homosexuality and my gay cousin that have been a bit unnerving for me. They weren't horrifically homophobic statements or anything, just enough to make me not want them to ever find out. On top of that, my mother is a really emotional type of person. I get the feeling that she would cry and be all depressive about it, even though I know she would accept me. I just don't want to upset my parents unnecessarily, and to be perfectly honest I really hate drama and any form of confrontation, even if it's not confronatation at all. So, overall, I've decided to make my homosexuality a 'need to know' type thing with my parents.

Well, that explanation was a lot longer than I thought it would be, My posts on here will likely vary in length, and I'll likely write about things pertaining to my life as a sort of out lesbian, since after all I have choosen that for my title, and I wouldn't want to be accused of false advertising. :o)